Sex & Relationships: Advice For Men and Women
How To Get Complete Ejaculation Control & Stop
Coming Too Quickly!
Better than that, from the moment you pick up the program and implement the 15 emergency techniques of ejaculation control, you’re going to find that things improve for you in bed.
We all know that being with a woman and making love can be too exciting for us to control our speedy ejaculations — it’s just something unfortunate about being a man, certainly not anything to be ashamed of!
But certainly, if there is a product that will allow you to last longer in bed, and do it gracefully, then why would you not take it, and make it your own?
That way, you can impress your girlfriend or wife or partner with lovemaking that goes on for — well, goes on for just as long as you want it to go on for….
And that’s not an exaggeration either.
The truth of the matter is that ejaculation control isn’t just about lasting a certain length of time — it’s about having choice (to come or not to come) and control over the time when you ejaculate (when you or she is satisfied).
If you’re a man with premature ejaculation this is almost certainly an impossible concept to grasp — after all, you’ve never actually had any control over your ejaculation!
Yet the truth of the matter is that men who can control when they come find that instinctively and naturally they are making love in a way that satisfies both them and their partners.
In fact, if you’re a man with premature ejaculation, it’s extremely unlikely that you’re going to be pleasing your partner very much at all during lovemaking — even if you are kind enough to give her an orgasm (or orgasms) before the moment of penetration.
Satisfy Her Every Time With Total Ejaculation Control!
You see, the thing a woman wants is to feel a man inside her for as long as it takes to be satisfied. With premature ejaculation, that’s almost never going to happen. The man simply comes too soon, and sometimes far too soon.
For men who want to take their women to orgasm during intercourse, it’s particularly disappointing — because no matter what they do, they never seem to develop any greater control over their ejaculation.
It doesn’t have to be like this because Lloyd Lester’s revolutionary book Ejaculation By Command literally gives you every possible means and opportunity to control your ejaculation during intercourse, so that you can achieve the highest levels of sexual satisfaction and pleasure.
Ejaculation By Command isn’t just a single stranded approach, either — you’ll have gathered from what I said above that there are both emergency techniques and long-term techniques in the program.
The reason you don’t want to be using the emergency techniques on a long-term basis is simply because they distract you from the connection with your partner that you need to feel to be truly intimate.
So for the long-term, you can embed a revolutionary new approach to lovemaking deeply into your system so that it becomes second nature, and you never have to think again about whether or not you’re going to come too quickly.
Why “revolutionary”? Well, simply because this book does not talk about clamping down the PC or pubococcygeal muscle before you ejaculate.
If you’ve ever tried this you will surely know that this is about as successful as trying to slow down ejaculation by thinking about baseball, roadkill or the annual tax return you haven’t yet completed. It simply doesn’t work.
Ejaculation Under Control
The truth is men with premature ejaculation have an ejaculatory reflex that’s far too sensitive and far too easily “primed”. This means they cannot control their ejaculation by distracting themselves.
So what you need is something that actually changes this level of sensitivity in your body so that you can control your ejaculation much more easily — and the way that you can do this is masterfully described by Lloyd Lester.
Essentially what he’s going to do is give you a system of self hypnosis, neurolinguistic programming or NLP, and other sophisticated, advanced techniques which will literally allow you to reprogram both your body and mind to a lower level of sensitivity so that you ejaculate more slowly and with much greater control.
And this doesn’t mean that you feel any less sexual pleasure — what it means is you feel the same amount of sexual pleasure – but now for much longer. Better still, at no point during the time before you ejaculate will you feel you’re about to lose control and come too quick!
So there’s something really important here, it’s about CHOICE. And CONTROL.
These things that every good lover aims for. There are within your grasp, and they’re not that difficult to achieve, either.
Premature Ejaculation Controlled
I’ve recommended this ejaculation control
program for many years now, because it contains exactly the same tricks,
techniques and tips for gaining greater ejaculatory control that I use with my
own clients in face-to-face counseling.
In other words, Lloyd’s e-book gives you exactly the exercises and techniques that you’d get if you went to see a professional sex therapist for between $100 and $200 an hour. You get techniques that work, adapted so that you can use them at home without any trouble whatsoever, so you can easily, quickly and permanently cure premature ejaculation.
Now, I wouldn’t expect you to buy this without knowing a little bit about it, so I’m going to tell you what you get for your money.
To start with, it isn’t just a single e-book on ejaculation control. In fact you get 9 sections in the program, 3 of which are about ejaculation control; the other 6 are bonus e-books or videos on how to increase sexual pleasure, the top 10 best sex positions, how to pleasure a woman so she reaches orgasm every time you make love, and other great sex techniques.
You might be thinking that 3 sections on ejaculation control and 6 on that sex is a bit out of balance, but when you look at the number of pages, you’ll find that you’re getting a massive amount of information on ejaculatory control (actually the basic e-book is 135 pages long and contains everything you could ever need to know about lasting longer in bed).
OK, so 135 pages of information sounds like a lot, and I suppose in a way it is, although the pages are nicely designed and you’re not getting 135 pages of densely packed print.
What you are getting is a step-by-step guide on the best ways in which men can learn how to last longer in bed.
To make it much easier to use, you also get a step-by-step guide which summarizes the 135 pages of information about premature ejaculation control in a very simple way.
No matter how exciting the sex position you are using, this program can help you last longer.
You don’t even need to read the detailed information if you don’t want to, although if there’s anything you’re not clear about the big eBook will explain it to you so that you can see exactly what you’re doing, and why.
As I said above, the techniques are based on those used by sex therapists, so it’s about using several techniques together, but focusing on the ones that work for you.
Now, as you may have read, some men who have rapid ejaculation issues don’t have much awareness of how aroused they are, and they often tell me that timing of their ejaculation comes as a surprise to them – they say it’s as if it comes from nowhere.
For these men there’s a whole system of increasing their awareness so that they can sense exactly how near or far away they are from the point of orgasm.
This is important because when they can sense they’re approaching orgasm, they can do something which will allow them to slow things down, so they get time….a longer time before they approach the point of no return.
That way, they can last much longer in bed. And what are the things they can do?
How You Can Get Back In Command In Bed
Well, if you’re one of these men, you can use
deep breathing exercises which are explained in the book, or perhaps slow down
the rhythm of sex.
And then there are some men who just simply enter their partner, make a few thrusts and come, but know perfectly well it’s going to happen – they just can’t stop it happening. This is quite common, and if you’re one of these men, you’ll find a different set of exercises.
You can use these exercises to control your ejaculation whether you last for 1 minute (or less) or 10 minutes, or anywhere in between, and you actually want to last longer. And what are those exercises? Simple ejaculation control exercises can help you regain ejaculatory control.
Well, there are several types. There are breathing exercises: simple, straightforward exercises you can do almost without thinking about them, which have a massive impact on your level of arousal, reducing it quickly and profoundly, so that you gain much more time before you ejaculate.
These are exercises that cause your arousal to plummet, but you’ll maintain your erection so that you can go on making love absolutely confident that you aren’t going to come any time soon.
Then there are muscular relaxation techniques. Now, learning to relax the muscles of your whole body can be quite a long-term process, so I wouldn’t trust anybody who says you can control PE just by relaxing your body – it isn’t that simple! Fortunately, Lloyd isn’t asking you to do that.
There are certain specific techniques which you can use, techniques which will allow you to discover very quickly how to relax the muscles of your pelvis These are the ones that control ejaculation).
You see, the tighter these pelvic muscles are, the quicker you’re going to ejaculate. That’s basically because ejaculation isn’t just the product of a mental build-up to orgasm; it’s also the product of physical tension building up in the body to the point where it’s released in an explosive ejaculation.
And the key to the muscular aspect of orgasm control and ejaculation delay lies in the pelvic muscles. So if you know a few techniques to control how tense your pelvic muscles are, you’ve basically got a powerful way of controlling whether you reach orgasm and ejaculate in the next minute or the next ten minutes. The whole concept is explained in detail in the eBook.
In addition, there are other techniques about increasing your sensual awareness, using sexual massage to arouse your partner, and advanced techniques of sexual arousal which mean you can enter her when she is she is much nearer the point of orgasm that she’d otherwise be…. and that means that you both have chance of reaching orgasm together.
And so it goes on: by taking several techniques and joining them seamlessly into a single, well proven approach, Lloyd Lester has actually managed to do what nobody else really has, I think – and that’s to produce a self-help, home treatment strategy for premature ejaculation control that actually works.
No matter how attractive your sexual partner, you need to have ejaculation control. A common experience reported by men is that no matter how bad the premature ejaculation has been, once they have come into full contact with their own male power, they find that they have a much greater chance of controlling ejaculation during intercourse, and that women see them differently.
Since these are very subtle psychological processes, it’s not easy to write about them in a way that makes a great deal of sense — it’s very experiential, and it’s something that you have to find out about for yourself. Nonetheless, one part of this is unquestionably the sense that you are a man who can make love to woman in a controlled way.
Vaginal acclimatization can help you regain control.
The vaginal acclimatization exercises described are undoubtedly a major step in this direction, providing men, as they do, with a sense of being able to contain their masculinity (as represented by their ejaculation) for as long as they need to to ensure that their female partners are satisfied.
There’s a kind of glorious fulfillment and rightness about this whole process. If I had to put it into psychological terms, I would talk about the “boundary” around masculinity extending to man’s sexuality, so that instead of giving himself away to the feminine, as he may do in his behavior in everyday life, as well as during sex, by ejaculating far too soon, once his masculinity is boundaried and safely contained within his own psyche, he is able to control his ejaculation during intercourse.
In fact, control it until he decides it is time to “release”. In this way, it’s possible to see premature ejaculation as nothing more than an immature sexual response from a man who has not yet matured into the powerful masculine.
How To Increase Your Staying Power
Greater staying power means a woman will adore your “performance” in bed. I do not wish to be pejorative about this, because many men experience premature ejaculation: at the last count, about one man in three was not able to control his ejaculation, and the regrettable thing about this, perhaps, is that very few of these men actually ever make the decision to actually get control of their ejaculation.
Now, because you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re different, and you have an interest in getting control over your ejaculation during intercourse; using the masturbatory self training exercises and the vaginal acclimatization exercises are a massive step towards complete control.
So after you’ve used ejaculatory training techniques, including masturbation, and vaginal acclimatization, what is the next step assuming control of your ejaculatory process?
The answer seems to be that the next stage is to “go inside” your own body and explore how it responds to sexual stimulation in the run-up to ejaculation and orgasm.
Hopefully by using the ejaculatory control techniques in the masturbation training sequence, you have established how the sensations that your body generates immediately before you reach the point of no return feel, and you know what happens at the point of ejaculatory inevitability…. of course, you already know how you feel after you have ejaculated!
Using this information and your increased level of knowledge about how you feel when you are about to ejaculate, you should be able to relax your attention somewhat so that you can turn your focus inwards into your own body.
This will allow you to stop focusing on the possibility that you will ejaculate far too soon, and to start focusing on the possibility of controlling your bodily responses as your ejaculatory reflex is triggered.
Better lovemaking comes from the man being able to pleasure the woman – which means long lasting lovemaking.
Most men report that when they ejaculate they can feel the contractions of the muscles in their body; these are an essential part of the ejaculatory reflex. You can get a sense of how to stop PE treatment using these techniques here.
We’re not talking here about the gross pelvic contractions of the musculature of the pelvis; rather, what we are talking about here are the more subtle contractions are the muscles around the base of the penis which are responsible for ejaculation.
In general, information on the Internet refers to the pubococcygeus muscle, which is actually not a single muscle but a group of muscles in the pelvic area surrounding the anus, traversing the perineum, and surrounding the base of the penis, the anterior bulbourethral gland, and the prostate gland.
When you reach the point of ejaculation, you can feel the pelvic musculature beginning to contract in response to your ejaculatory reflex. The first feeling of ejaculation is a tightening of the muscles of the inner thighs, buttocks, anus, and around the pelvic region. See aspects of loving for more on premature ejaculation control information.
This feels similar in all men, who report a sensation of anticipating orgasm, and enjoying the sensations that precede ejaculation.
Some men have associated these sensations with the emission of semen into the base of the urethra from the prostate gland. However, this is not strictly accurate, for the sensations that build up in the muscles of the body are simply representative of increasing muscle tone, not the phenomenon of emission.
This muscle tone increases prior to the spasmodic contractions of orgasm.
Sexual pleasure is your birthright. That requires control of ejaculation.
The moment of emission is unmistakable, and is that gloriously anticipatory moment that precedes orgasm & ejaculation itself, a moment that has been described in various ways but often as “hanging on the edge of climax”.
Ejaculation itself involves the regular contraction of all the muscles previously referred to, and in particular those at the base of the penis which forcibly expel semen out of the end of your urethra in the characteristic spurts of ejaculation.
Accompanying this physical release, which is mediated by the autonomic nervous system and the ejaculatory reflex, via branches of the pudendal and vagus nerves, there is a significant feeling of pleasure as hormones, including oxytocin and prolactin, are released in the brain.
Interestingly enough, although orgasm and ejaculation are two separate events, the feeling of pleasure that accompanies orgasm is generally more intense when the contractions of the muscles are harder and fiercer.
Certainly if a man has not ejaculated for a number of days, and his seminal vesicles are therefore full of semen, and his prostate gland is also swollen with semen, the sensations of ejaculation can be much more enjoyable than they are when he has ejaculated quite recently.
Also, the subjective sensations of pleasure that accompany these muscular contractions are also significantly increased, a fact which suggests that although orgasm and ejaculation are two separate events, there is some significant neural link between them.
The Shame Of Premature Ejaculation
You’re having sex with a partner, and suddenly you’re completely overwhelmed by your arousal; as you penetrate her, a rush of excitement passes through your whole body and mind, and before you know it, no matter how you try to resist, you’re ejaculating far too soon once again.
Greater staying power achieved through vaginal acclimatization means a woman will adore your “performance” in bed.
Being overwhelmed like this is certainly a problem for a lot of men with premature ejaculation, and one of the ways that I have discovered you can deal with this is to use a process of what I have come to call vaginal acclimatization.
You see, if you are being overwhelmed by arousal when you insert your penis into your partner, then instead of trying to have intercourse and control your desire to ejaculate, which you certainly will not be able to do, there’s a different approach you can take, which is not to do anything after penetration but simply become accustomed to the sensation of being inside your partner.
So, after penetration, what you’re going to do is lie together without moving. The best way to do this is in the side-by-side sexual position.
Basically what it means is that you start in the man on top position, but you don’t thrust: you enter your partner fully, and then you agree which side you’re going to roll onto, then she draws her thigh on that side up so that you’re resting on that thigh and her other leg is resting on your body.
Side by side lovemaking – great for improving your “performance” in bed.
The side-by-side position has a great advantage for men with premature ejaculation because it puts far less pressure on the penis (i.e. makes you come less quickly!), and therefore you may feel as though you’ve lost contact with the vagina.
The interesting thing, however, is that she will almost certainly still be able to feel you inside her, and that extent she will be given sexual pleasure in the way that she desires.
But bear in mind that her co-operation is absolutely essential here.
Premature ejaculation control
This is not a matter that you can undertake on your own — clearly, if you’re ejaculating to soon during sex, but not masturbation, then you’d have a hard time overcoming that urge if you’re practicing on your own!
So, with the cooperation of your partner, it should be possible for you to penetrate, get into the side-by-side position, and then lie still.
Now you may find that if you’re a man who has premature ejaculation, at this point you’re experiencing a high level of anxiety. Another advantage of taking this “training opportunity” is to enable you to actually overcome your anxiety and relax.
You’re in a situation where the physical intimacy of the situation, and the excitement of having your penis inside a willing woman’s vagina, can be putting a great stress on your ability to control your ejaculation and keep control of the rate of increase in your arousal.
However, simply by lying still, you’ll find that eventually there will be a transformation in your state of mind and your emotional arousal.
Ejaculation by Command
Your woman wants you to improve in bed, and is very willing to help you if you confide in her. Here's one way - vaginal acclimatization.
During lovemaking, when you enter your partner, you may need to move slightly to maintain your erection, and that’s quite permissible, but under no circumstances should you thrust, and under no circumstances should you allow yourself to get carried away with excitement and continue making love.
Instead, lie still …. what will happen is this: after about 10 to 20 minutes (although I have seen it take as long as 30), there will be a change in the sensation that you’re feeling.
This is hard to describe but you’ll know when it happens – men have variously described it as a “dull warmth”, as “becoming less excited”, as involving bodily changes such as sighing or cognitive change such as suddenly realizing that you do have the power to maintain sexual control and limit your arousal ….
…. it’s impossible to say how it will manifest for each individual, but as I say, it is a distinct change and you will recognize it once it happens. What this means is that at this point you have reached a level of acclimatization to the vagina, which is a powerful transformational moment for you.
It means that you are no longer a going to be aroused by the simple act of penetration, that the very excitement of sex, the prospect of sex, the anticipation of sex, will be replaced by a matter of fact, masculine acceptance of the natural and completely “right” fact that you are making love to a woman.
So in this context I would like to make a few observations about….
Male Power and Masculinity
What I’ve discovered is that something that happens when a man goes through what we could broadly call a modern day “initiation ritual” — that is, he becomes much more powerful in his own right, and my interpretation of this is that there is an internal psychological separation from the feminine.
If you read about this kind of thing in books on male development, what you see over and over again is the statement that man’s developmental battle is to separate from the feminine.
This makes a lot of sense if you think about it for a moment: born to a woman, nursed by a woman, and often brought up and educated by women, men these days lack connection with the masculine.
And this is critical for a boy developing, because unlike the girl, who grows into a woman by default, developmental psychologists agree that the passage from boyhood to manhood involves actively learning how to be a man.
This is why initiation rituals have been present and enacted in almost all societies until the current time: now we have no initiation rituals, boys do not spend time with their fathers, and masculinity tends to be disrespected both by society and popular culture.
In such an environment, you may well ask how boys are ever to become men, and to exercise their male power in overcoming sexual dysfunction.
The answer seems to be to engage in initiation rituals which help men to step into their power and see how they can separate from the influences in their psyche that may be holding them back.
Controlling Fast Ejaculation
Poor ejaculation control during sex may come from rapid masturbation habits. We learn to masturbate quickly and hastily, and that our chief object becomes shooting out a load as quickly as possible. But this is as far removed from the true meaning of “self pleasuring as it would be possible to get: it’s more like scratching an itch that needs to be dealt with.
So, again, I reiterate the point that self-discipline is necessary in learning how to control premature ejaculation. Ejaculation By Command teaches you these techniques: there are other ways of using self stimulation as a masturbatory training technique to control premature ejaculation. Again, these are explained in Ejaculation By Command – the premier ejaculation control program available today.
One of them is to lie on the bed, and enjoy the sense of your own nakedness. You can enjoy exploring the whole of your body, running your hands over your body, perhaps stimulating more erogenous areas of your body such as your nipples, playing with your testicles, gradually becoming erect, and exploring your body in sensuous and sensual way.
Sensual exploration and ejaculation control
Be in complete control in bed and enjoy sex all the more! Use massage oil if you wish, but once again wait until you get in touch with your body and start to become aroused before you begin to practice the masturbatory exercises for ejaculation control.
In my experience, and from the reports that men bring back to me when I prescribe Ejaculation by Command and its exercises for rapid ejaculation control, there will be a point during this self stimulation — that is to say the sensual stimulation of rubbing your hands over your body — where you find that suddenly something changes and it’s almost like a switch has been thrown.
This is the point where you become more in touch with your body, more sensitive to the feelings that it’s giving you, and more able to feel the pleasure of the sensuality and stimulation that you’re giving yourself.
At this point you probably begin to become erect, and sexual thoughts will start to add to your arousal.
At this point, once again, if you’re using a good-quality lubricant, you can go through the masturbatory training exercises, and bring yourself to the point of orgasm and ejaculation, then stop stimulating your penis.
Repeat for four cycles, and allow yourself to ejaculate on the fifth.
Many men ask me how often they are supposed to do this to gain greater ejaculatory control, but I must emphasize that this is not the complete series of exercises on its own, this is just the introduction to a technique which will give you greater control when it’s put together with other exercises. You can find full details in Ejaculation By Command.
In other words, this is about helping you to
understand how your body feels she masturbate, and how you can tell when you’re
approaching the point of ejaculation.
Many men who ejaculate too quickly tell me that one of the things that they experience every time they get together with a woman is an overriding sense of excitement and arousal which makes ejaculation impossible to control.
In this environment, you can probably imagine that your masturbatory training exercises, and your awareness of how many you are to the point of orgasm, may not prove to be terribly helpful. Read the next post to find out more, or simply buy Ejaculation by Command now to get a complete system for ejaculation control. You can see details in the top right hand column of this page.
Control your sexual energy for better orgasms!
Instead of letting it build up in your pelvis or your genitals, you can move it out into your body, your arms, your legs, and even into your mouth.
The effect of all this is that when you touch or kiss your partnership, she will shiver with excitement as she feels sexual energy moving from you to her. Sounds far-fetched?
Well, all I can say is, it really works – when you’ve tried it you will be astounded how your partner responds to your touch.
Imagine, for example, if you focused all the energy of your genitals and penis and moved it up through your body, then down your arms into your hands – and then you touch her. What do you think would happen?!
The answer is: she’ll be electrified, her arousal will soar, and she’ll be desperate for your sexual attentions!
But even if you don’t use these slightly esoteric energy control techniques, you can easily learn how to last much longer without any difficulty using some or all of these techniques.
And not only that, but you’ll find out how to pleasure your partner effortlessly so that she orgasms every time you have sex – and you’ll even learn how to give her an orgasm during vaginal intercourse, if that’s what you want to do.
Now I know that if you’re a rapid ejaculator, you might find all this hard to believe. But no matter how quickly you ejaculate, better control is possible. Part of the solution is slowing sexual energy build up in your penis and nervous system - the stop start technique can help here..
The Other Part is Listed in Ejaculation By Command.
The author of this program, Lloyd Lester, also dispels a few of the old myths about premature ejaculation control – including the idea that taking SSRI drugs to control your ejaculation is a good idea, or that delay creams, sprays, lotions, and condoms are an effective method of controlling rapid ejaculation.
And if you have ever tried to slow yourself down by thinking about something distracting, or wearing two condoms – well, you’ll know what a waste of time some of these popular ideas actually are….. !
As you probably realize by now, knowledge is power, and this e-book will give you both the knowledge and the power to be a great lover. For this isn’t just about lasting longer in bed.
It’s actually about lasting longer and being a great lover for your partner. Certainly, choosing when you ejaculate during sex is incredibly important, and that’s what you’ll be able to do when you’ve read Ejaculation By Command.
But it’s only a part of the equation – the rest of it is all about pleasuring your partner, being a powerful man in bed, and impressing her with your lovemaking skills and powerful sexual ability, so she gets what she wants from sex – and then she’ll want more and more of it – in the way that she wants…
….which, basically, is about you being a powerful man who can bring out her deepest feminine desires by showing her your deepest masculine power and love-making skills.
In addition, Lloyd gives you some astounding neurolinguistic programming (NLP) techniques which actually allow you to reprogram the way you think about sex before you even get into bed – and that’s incredibly powerful stuff if you ever have any doubts about your sexual ability, any fears about your sexual performance, any worries about satisfying a woman, or indeed any anxiety about sex at all. This stuff is dynamite!
And you are going find you no longer feel anxious about sex, you’ll never have to wonder if you’ll be able to last long enough or whether she’ll have an orgasm, and your whole approach to sex will change, so that you’re completely confident about your ability to pleasure both her and yourself, every time you get into bed. This is revolutionary sex at its best!